The Rutherford Chatterbox

The Donnolloy-Parker wedding reception is touted to be the hottest social event of next year. Politics still rule though: a certain prominent hostess seems to have accidentally on purpose left some people off the guest list. Will the happy couple be able to do damage control and invite all the snubbed without annoying the lady in question?

Speaking of, the Chatterbox wishes the happy couple all the best. Hopefully it all goes smoothly, although smartphones are to be left at the door. No one wants a groomzilla viral video, after all.

Rutherford’s favourite prodigal son is causing a bit of a stir among the single ladies. Tall, dark and handsome, he ticks all the boxes. But they might have to wait for him to thaw a little...cheer up, chappie, we all think you’re wonderful. Let’s see that lovely smile.

Looks like our resident TV star is coming back as well. Not permanently (as they keep saying), but with that cliffhanger, we think there’s an axing in the offing.

Kids will be kids, but the Principal doesn’t seem impressed with the ones hanging out in the woods. Cheer up, Teach! They’ll grow out of it.

Bright lights in the sky: our beloved scientist friends say it’s nothing to worry about, although perhaps it might be a good draw for tourists and UFO spotters. Our beloved Mayor’s ready to try anything to get Rutherford noticed. Actually, does anyone know the Mayor’s whereabouts on the nights the lights were seen?

Which well to do local couple keep having very loud arguments in very public places? It looks like someone’s marriage is as rocky as their child's acting career.

War Memorial damaged by mysterious fireworks - suspected link to theft at Momentum Combined Technologies

Despite Chief Fire Officer Thompson’s request that the fire ban be respected in the Jennings Memorial Reserve, there has been considerable damage to the war memorial after fireworks were set off  in the vicinity on November 5th. Scorch marks have covered many of the names of the fallen, which many residents have described as a disgrace.

The authorities are, however, most worried about the nature of the fireworks involved. An eyewitness says that he saw strange a strange, persistent glow around the area, as well as a deep thudding. Officer Andrew Flemming has stressed that anyone found experimenting with dangerous chemicals will be dealt with harshly.

A spokesman for Momentum Combined Technologies has come forward and mentioned a series of thefts at the laboratory, however they believed that the chemicals stolen could not have caused the effects mentioned. It had been suspected that those stealing the chemicals were employees of the company, which is why it had not been mentioned publicly until now. “We will co-operate fully with the police on this matter,” said the spokesman. “We have always had a good relationship with Rutherford and we intend for that to remain the case.”

The War Memorial itself is still intact , although many of the fine carvings are almost completely ruined. The garden around the memorial has been completely obliterated, and there is also extensive damage to the men’s toilets nearby.

It just goes to show that young people today have no respect for this town’s past,” said town historian Meredith Jones yesterday. “It’s especially galling since we lost so many brave young men in both the world wars...young men no older than those who no doubt caused the damage.” Meredith Jones refused to be drawn on who the suspected culprits might be.  However,it was hinted that the Jones family would be happy to pay for the restoration in its entirety.

Others have not been so coy: blame has been placed squarely at the feet of Mack Thompson, who currently occupies the position of caretaker at the Memorial Reserve. Both Mack and Chief Fire Officer Thompson have strenuously denied these allegations, claiming that others in the town are attacking the Thompson family for political reasons.

Welcome to the new, improved, online Rutherford Chronicle!

Welcome, Chronicle readers!

You're no doubt aware that our beloved newspaper, the Rutherford Chronicle, had to shut due to decreased circulation. But fear not! This blog will feature all those little columns that made our paper great, like The Rutherford Chatterbox, Horoscopes, From the Archives and Letters to the Editor. (Or should that be blogger?)

Community Notices:


Chief Fire Officer Thompson has asked us to remind everyone that there is a FIRE BAN in the Jennings Memorial Reserve. No camp fires, and definitely no fireworks. There's been a few incidents of smoke and bright lights seen around the area. No damage has been reported yet, but as Summer is on it's way, let's start as we mean to go on!

The meeting to decide the naming of the Rutherford College Library has been tabled indefinitely, after the fracas that ensued last week. Principal Munroe has asked the interested parties to take some time to calm down, and when everyone can be reasonable, the subject may be discussed again.

Momentum Combined Technologies is having an open day next month! Everyone is invited to take a look around the labs and see the cutting edge of scientific research. Boffo the Clown will also be there, plus a raffle and a cupcake competition.

The Jennings Memorial Society is seeking volunteers for the graveyard and graffiti clean up drive. There seems to have been a spate of attacks recently, and our town center is looking a little less than pristine. Mrs. Jones refuses to comment on the allegations made on the side of the bus shelter.

And, ending things on a happy note: everyone congratulate our Mayor when you see him next! He's getting hitched to the wonderful Eli Parker, who reminds us that there's a 25% off sale at the "Bibliophile Second Hand Bookstore" next week. (Great if you've got a gap in your collection of Reader's Digests. -ed)